Life has been painful, of late.
Circumstances have brought a profound awareness of my limitations. The ongoing serious illness of someone I love. The approaching first anniversary of my father’s death; the fact that I was too ill to visit the intensive care unit where he spent the final month of his life.
After thirty years, I thought there were few ways left for my illness to hurt me. Now I know the pain of enforced absence during a loved one’s suffering. No other illness-related loss has cut quite as deeply as this, I think. It can be hard to maintain my own sense of worth when reminded of my inability to convert love into physical presence and practical assistance.